How to be respectful and respected (2024)

Respect is the glue that holds your relationships together. Learn ways to be respectful and know what to do when somebody isn’t respectful toward you.

How to be respectful and respected (1)

Why is respect important?

Giving and receiving respect from others is important because it helps us to feel safe and to express ourselves.

Being respected by important people in our lives growing up teaches us how to be respectful toward others.

Respect means that you accept somebody for who they are, even when they’re different from you or you don’t agree with them.

Respect in your relationships builds feelings of trust, safety, and wellbeing.

Respect doesn’t have to come naturally – it is something you learn.

What does respect look like?

Think about all the different situations in life where you have to get along with others – how do you know if there’s respect in your relationship?

You feel safe being around each other

You know it’s ok for both of you to express who you are

You don’t yell or talk over the top of each other

When you disagree you listen to each other and be patient

Neither of you is controlling the other person’s choices

You both allow the other person space if they need it

You can both admit when you’ve made a mistake

"When I was at school, I felt like I didn't really fit in... I felt like I was judged for it which made me feel a little bit embarrassed."

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Signs of a disrespectful relationship

Unfortunately, not all friendships or relationships are mutually respectful. Sometimes, you might find yourself dealing with toxic behaviours from friends/family/intimate partners, or even experiencing emotional abuse.

Here’s what disrespect can look like:

  • Being ghosted, ignored or given the ‘silent treatment’
  • Being criticised or insulted
  • Being humiliated, punished, blamed or threatened
  • They lie, make up rumours or do other actions designed to hurt you or your reputation
  • Your thoughts and feelings being dismissed or minimised
  • Weaponised insecurities – they bring up stuff or highlight stuff you’re uncomfortable/ embarrassed about or told them in secret
  • You feel like the stuff you say is always ‘wrong’
  • They make everything about them

How can disrespect impact your relationships?

We get a lot of our self-worth from how the people we care about see us. Being disrespected can make you feel not good enough, worthless or like no one will want to be in a friendship or relationship with you.

I'm being disrespected... what can I do?

Sometimes we find ourselves not feeling respected by other people, including our family or friends.

While it’s not always possible to change somebody and make them respect you, there are some things you can try:

Show people what respect looks like by being respectful yourself

Communicate clearly – they may not realise how you feel

Set some boundaries/stand up for yourself

Spend time with people who are respectful and make you feel safe

Tell the person what they are doing isn’t ok and be specific

Talk to somebody you trust like a parent, teacher, or counsellor

Try to understand their point of view

Give that person a chance to change their behaviour toward you

It’s ok to end friendships with people if they can’t be respectful and you don’t feel safe around them

Self-respect

Don’t forget to have respect for yourself too!

Self-respect means accepting yourself as you are. It’s not about being perfect – it’s about knowing that you’re deserving of respect simply for being you.

Self-respect also means being part of respectful relationships and not putting up with disrespect. Ending a relationship that isn’t respectful is a way of respecting yourself.

"You can call out disrespect or discrimination by saying 'we don't do that here'. Anyone can be a disrespect upstander."

Kids Helpline is here to listen, support you, and share tips and ideas about how to have respectful relationships.

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We're always here to listen and help

If you want to talk about respect or anything else, give us a call, start a WebChat or check outMy Circletoday.

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This content was last reviewed 17/08/2023

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How to be respectful and respected (2024)

FAQs

How to be respectful and respected? ›

Be kind and courteous. Be polite, avoid interrupting or causing disturbances. Listen to others and respect differences in beliefs and opinions. Think before you speak, your language and tone.

How do I start being respected? ›

  1. 6 Traits You Must Adopt to Become a Highly Respected Person. How to Grow Your Influence and Increase Your Value to Society. ...
  2. Never let anyone hear you complain. Complaining is easy. ...
  3. Carry yourself with confidence. ...
  4. Own up to your mistakes. ...
  5. Be true to your word. ...
  6. Be open-minded. ...
  7. Control your emotions.
Feb 17, 2024

What causes lack of respect? ›

Understand the Root Causes

Some common reasons for a lack of respect in the workplace include: Communication Breakdown: Effective communication is the foundation of a respectful workplace. Misunderstandings, misinterpretations, and poor communication can all contribute to a lack of respect.

How can I be truly respected? ›

Here are 99 simple reminders to make sure you're on the right path.
  1. Give more than you get. Give respect to get respect.
  2. Respect yourself. Respect comes first from within.
  3. Offer respect. ...
  4. Maintain your integrity. ...
  5. Keep your promises. ...
  6. Add value. ...
  7. Learn to spell Respect: ...
  8. Find people doing the right thing.
May 20, 2015

How do I gain a lot of respect? ›

  1. Give respect to other people. Justin Sullivan/Getty Images. ...
  2. Consistently keep your promises. Flickr / reynermedia. ...
  3. Let your actions speak louder than your words. mckinney75402/Flickr. ...
  4. Help others when they need it. ...
  5. Ask for help when you need it. ...
  6. Say what you mean. ...
  7. Always strive to do better. ...
  8. Admit to your mistakes.
Apr 11, 2019

How to gain lost respect? ›

Can You Restore Respect Once You Lose It?
  1. Choose to regain respect. You have to want to regain the respect you once lost. ...
  2. Open your mind and heart. Before you face the person, find a place to sit quietly and feel the stillness of a calm and open heart. ...
  3. Listen with compassionate curiosity. ...
  4. Do it for yourself.
May 14, 2016

How to make a disrespectful person respect you? ›

Try disarming them with kindness.

If someone is being disrespectful or rude, responding with kindness can take them by surprise and encourage them to rethink their behavior. Instead of getting upset or retaliating, try deescalating the situation with a smile and a few kind words.

How to tell if someone doesn't respect you? ›

Here are some common signs of lack of respect that you should look out for:
  1. They don't honor your space or time.
  2. They speak in a derogatory manner to you.
  3. They don't listen when you're talking.
  4. They interrupt or talk over you.
  5. They don't make you feel valued.
  6. They ignore you.
  7. They lie to you.
  8. They flirt or cheat on you.
Jul 13, 2023

What do you call a person who doesn't respect others? ›

impious, undutiful. lacking due respect or dutifulness. flip, impudent, insolent, snotty-nosed.

Why are people not respecting me? ›

Engaging in silly or inappropriate conversations, using offensive language, and making crude jokes — these are all behaviors that make people perceive you as unserious and not worth their respect.

How to gain self-respect? ›

Be kind to yourself
  1. Get to know yourself. For example, what makes you happy and what you value in life. ...
  2. Try to challenge unkind thoughts about yourself. ...
  3. Say positive things to yourself. ...
  4. Practise saying no. ...
  5. Try to avoid comparing yourself to others. ...
  6. Do something nice for yourself.

How to make people respect you if you're quiet? ›

Respect = Presence

Your body language, your attitude, your quiet confidence — they all speak volumes about who you are. A firm handshake, a warm smile, eye contact — these are the tools of someone who knows their worth. They don't need to shout to be heard; their presence does the talking.

How to make others value you? ›

Help People When Needed

Everyone needs help every once in a while. Make sure you are there when people need you. Provide your support in whatever small ways possible. When you help people in their times of need, they will realize your value in their life.

What is the secret of respect? ›

Treating someone with respect means: showing regard for their abilities and worth • valuing their feelings and their views, even if you don't necessarily agree with them • accepting them on an equal basis and giving them the same consideration you would expect for yourself.

How can I be extremely respectful? ›

We want to continue to create an inclusive environment, therefore, here are our top 10 ways to show respect to one another:
  1. Be kind and courteous.
  2. Be polite, avoid interrupting or causing disturbances.
  3. Listen to others and respect differences in beliefs and opinions.
  4. Think before you speak, your language and tone.

How to be valued and respected? ›

Treat Everyone With Respect

In order to get respect, you have to give it—and not just to the higher-ups. People will pick up if you're nice to the bosses but mean to the receptionist or delivery guy, and think you're a brown-noser rather than a genuinely good person. Aim for the latter.

How do I become a respected human being? ›

Speak positively and project confidence. Don't be boastful, but don't diminish yourself with your words. As far as possible, surround yourself with people who are positive and supportive of your best interests. Practise calm assertiveness.

How do you start respecting? ›

7 Ways to Be Respectful (And a One-Step Trick to Getting More Respect From Others)
  1. Listen and be present. ...
  2. Be thoughtful of others' feelings. ...
  3. Acknowledge others and say thank you. ...
  4. Address mistakes with kindness. ...
  5. Make decisions based on what's right, not who you like. ...
  6. Respect physical boundaries. ...
  7. Live and let live.

How can I be self respected? ›

How to Respect Yourself: 5 Ways to Build Self-Respect
  1. Be with people who bring out your light. ...
  2. Practice what brings you joy. ...
  3. Prioritize self-care. ...
  4. Remove negativity from your life. ...
  5. Write yourself affirmations.
Feb 22, 2023

How do you establish respect? ›

Respect is established when you consistently: consider and value the feelings and opinions of your partner; talk to and treat your partner in ways that you would want to be treated; and compromise and negotiate with your partner.

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